Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Silver LIning

A friend who is raising a daughter was recently telling me that the one thing she is missing about not having a son is the protectiveness that boys have for their mothers. Since I have no daughters, I can’t say if girls share this tendency or not. But I can attest to my own nine-and-a-half year old. I can always count on Dean to come to my aid and take my side – I don’t even have to ask.

Last week was a prime example. Dean was a witness to our marital storm and knew that I was upset with Luke. When I decided to put aside the argument and left the room, Dean followed me to make sure I was all right. I felt the need to reassure him that parents often disagree - that people who love each other will get angry, discuss their feelings and then make up. The important thing is to be respectful and never lose sight of how much you love one another. He patted me on the shoulder, assuring me that I was right and Dad was wrong. I may have giggled when I forced myself to say, “Well, that isn’t always true.”

A few moments later, I found this note waiting for me. Dean watched me expectantly as I read it. “It’s from Daddy,” he tried to tell me.

When I looked back at him, tears of gratitude in my eyes, he admitted, “OK, it’s really from me. And if I had more time, I would have made Dad one too and said it was from you.”

It’s a true gift to find comfort and nurturing from my own child. Dean certainly brought me beauty after the ugliness, the silver lining to the day’s dark clouds. May love always give you shelter from the storm.


nikki said...

Oh, man, there must be something in my eye...

Seriously, what a sweetheart.

Convertible Girl said...

That seriously made me cry. Thanks a lot. Could have used a note like that after a "storm" at our house.

@sweetbabboo said...

Oh man, I'm so glad I have a boy. I hope he grows up to be just like Dean. You are a lucky woman to be surrounded in all that love.


PS- Glad to know that I'm not the only one that fights with my husband in front of my kid. I always worry I'm screwing him up.

Marty, a.k.a. canape said...

He's a wonderful boy.

If Kevin and I are arguing in front of Bird, he will totter over to us and put his arms around our legs until we pick him up for a group hug. Then he gives us each kisses.

Hard to fight when your toddler is demanding hugs from both of you at the same time.

Susie said...

@ Marty - I love how babies are just so wired with the skills to diffuse tension - like that nervous adorable smile they give you when you shout "no" as they are about to put their fingers in the light socket.

@ Abby - It's actually a good idea to argue in front of your kids so they learn conflict resolution. Let them see you argue (respectfully) and make up. It's a part of life...

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Aw, what a little sweetheart.
My mother in law once remarked that your sons leave you, but your daughters won't. That's when I was pregnant with #3 and she was telling me I should have a girl.
That said, I think God gives you what you'd do best with and I think I'll be JUST FINE left alone a long time from now. But the mom/son thing is totally different than the mom/daughter thing.